so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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