you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
