She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
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She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
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But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize