I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
