That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
