i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
