yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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