And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize