Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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