Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This is not my ceiling
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You need a sexual gate keeper
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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