So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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