There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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