dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
