How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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