Too much gin, very little bucket
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
