My liver just broke up with me...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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