I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
