Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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