As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
