its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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