Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My brain says no but my pants say off.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
