i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
