I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
