I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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