If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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