i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
