I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
