I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
