the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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