she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize