I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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