he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
