you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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