Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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