And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
