It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
