when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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