This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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