I feel like I'm in dance class right now
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
