if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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