It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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