so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
