I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
did i just pee glitter
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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