i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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