I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
