Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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