I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize