I want to stick my p in your. b.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i think i have two assholes
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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