Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
