Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
