Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize