There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
