I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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