I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
