are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
