I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
