hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize