I cut my penus on the lid.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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