If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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