is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
