I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize