I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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