I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize