You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
