You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize