imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
