I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
