i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize