New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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